First things first. Let's talk about the profile picture. This is your first impression to the dating world. Wouldn't you love to know what the opposite sex thinks about it? Here's some examples of what you post, and what we think...
Who is that chick? Either the guy is still hung up on this girl, or it's a family member. Either way the "Me & Anonymous Girl" pics are lame. Are you trying to tell the prospects on the dating site, "To contact me, you must be at least this hot?" Or maybe you are saying, "This is the chick who carries my nuts in her purse?" (Package deals on swinger sites excluded from this of course!)
Oh boy! These kind of pics are great to look at, aren't they? I don't have a problem with the "Posing Shirtless" pic... just don't expect me to take you seriously! By putting this pic in your profile, you are telling us this: "I am hot. I know I am hot. My mirror thinks I'm hot. I am an egotistical ass." It also says; "I will treat you like shit," OR "I won't understand why you screwed me a few times and then dumped me... because I am hot." ... and possibly brainless.
This type of picture mostly pertains to the Plentyoffish dating site. Ok.... REALLY?? What a tired-ass gag the "Fish" pic is here. Aren't you witty? You put up a picture of you catching a big fish on a site that has the word 'fish' in it. Is that really the best you've got?
Guys, it's great that you have kids and that they are a part of your life. I have my own and they are my whole world. Dating in your 30's means a package deal when you have kids. I get that. But a first impression should be all about you. The internet is chock-full of pervs, and anyone posting pics of their kids on a dating site slides down on the Responsible Parent Scale. The best dads don't post the "Aren't I a Great Dad?" profile pic!
The "Rico Suave" profile pics can mean a couple of different things.
1. This guy has occasion to wear a tux or nice suit often. In which case, by all means post the pictures. OR....
2. (More likely) This picture was taken at a wedding by Billy Bob's momma as solid proof her boy could clean up nice. "Don't he look nice when he ain't wearin' them cut-off t-shirts like he always does? And look! His hands is even clean! Why he even washed up his truck and motorcycle for the occasion. Imma' get some pictures of them all cleaned up too since he wants to put them up on this datin' site he's doin'."
We now come to the "Penis-Extension" section of my little rant. Look guys, it's great that you have a nice mode of transportation. We like it that you do. But by putting it as your main profile pic, or including several pictures of your big truck, fast motorcycle, or sports car in your profile is the same as announcing to the world one of a few things. You are either screaming "I HAVE MICRO-PENIS!!!" at the top of your lungs, "WELCOME TO MY MIDLIFE CRISIS!!" if you are at the right age, or "I AM INSECURE BUT THIS MAKES ME HOTTER!"
I mean it's not like girls post 5 different views of their favorite pair of designer shoes. I guess some guys could really be in love with their Penis-Extender Vehicle so much they just want to share it with the world.In that case, lube up the tail pipe and have at it... but keep the Penis-Extension pics to yourselves.All hope is not lost fellas. The right profile photo is no big deal. To keep it simple, I'll enumerate:
1. Only you in the photo.
2. Wear casual clothes that are clean.
3. Include extra pictures in your profile of you doing activities you like.
4. Smiles are good.
So there you have it. Now go take down your ridiculous main profile picture and put up something better. Tune in later and I'll tell you all the reasons we're laughing at you while we actually read your profile!
